Sense and Smearability

Bonjour mon petit filous.

I really struggled this week with what to blog about (and you should all be immensely proud I didn’t just give up and not write anything – personal growth that is). Considering I feel like I’ve been the busiest bee there has ever been, there hasn’t really been that much I can actually write about. Someone suggested I do another post on Molly, but she’s been incredibly boring recently and hasn’t made the effort to be particularly noteworthy at all (I have shouted at her for it, but she’s been poorly so I can’t be too harsh). I’ve also tried look at the news, but I mainly end up hopeless and depressed whenever I do that. Except when it’s something about Justin Trudeau’s butt, though I’m not sure if I can justify a whole post on that. Though I totally could. Just saying. That man is wonderful in all ways, and it’s nice that his bum reflects that.

Though I can say that on the news-front, I have enjoyed watching videos of Emma Watson giving what-for about her Vanity Fair magazine cover; she is such a babe. Like her, I do find it almost inconceivable that in this day and age, people (specifically the media) still struggle to understand the concept of Feminism. When will we realise that by identifying as a feminist, you are not trying to bully other women, bully men or in fact do anything other than ask that women be allowed to do whatever they want with their own bodies and minds? Emma Watson has boobs and Emma Watson should be at liberty to do whatever the hell she wants with them without having to defend her choices. I mean, it’s not like we’re all grown ups living in a society that is supposedly one of the most advanced in the modern world…

vanity fair

(photo curtsey of Vanity Fair) 

FEMINISM, huh (yeah) what is it good for? Absolutely EVERYTHING! 

Speaking of things specifically linked to the joys of being a lady, this week also heralded the not so joyous event of my first smear test. I was a little unsure about mentioning this, but being as over half the world’s population have a vagina, and should (if able) be attending something similar, there isn’t much point in being squeamish. Now, whilst I am a firm advocator of such examinations and the importance of them in regards to women’s health, I can safely say that it is Very Not Fun. Surprisingly I was not as embarrassed by the whole “foof showing” as I anticipated, which was a positive outcome. The nurse was very no nonsense and after the amount of time I’d spent making sure the entire lower half of my body was as impeccable as it could possibly be (Including freshly painted toe nails) I kind of think I was ready. The rest of the event was not quite as great though. I mean, who knew cervixes could play hide and seek? Not I! But apparently, very much like the rest of me, my internal lady bits are all about remaining safely inside and unseen, and the term “fettling” was used which is not something that instilled me with confidence. However, she has made a note for next time – a kind of treasure map for future cervix hunters, so that’s something. I just have to wait for my result now, so fingers and (perfectly painted) toes crossed everything is hunky dory and my cervix can live to hide another day.

Mainly though, I’m just going to have to tell you more things about my life. There are going to be no morals or profound messages at the end of this, so it’s purely a narcissistic exercise. Sorry.

On each other’s encouragement, the Man Muffin and I have been being VERY HEALTHY (to a degree). Long gone are the days of chocolate pillows for every meal (which I’m still a bit bitter about). Instead there is fruit and yoghurt for breakfast! There are dried banana snacks! There are meals that sometimes have up to THREE portions of vegetables! Shit is getting serious. MM has also been working the cross trainer on a tri weekly basis – he likes to come in and rub his sweaty forehead on my cheek in the morning as proof of how far he’s done, so that’s “nice” too. I have said I might possibly maybe think about having a go again, but I don’t want to push myself too hard, as I am the most insanely lazy person. I have agreed (somewhat truculently) to do the Plank Challenge with him, meaning we have to plank for increasingly lengthy times on a daily basis. So far I have managed a totally of 40 seconds, which I think is more than enough, but Ross is very PE Teacher-eqsue in his encouragement. Bastard.

I’ve also got back into reading like WOAH as well which is super great. I had a bit of a break over Christmas, spending my time doing mindlessly soothing sudokus, but I am now back into it with a vengeance. I’ve recently finished The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers (and the sequel) which greatly spoke to my childhood memories of Farscape and Firefly. Adventures in space are always a winner in my eyes, and I enjoyed these two so much I even wrote a little thank you to the author – who cheerfully wrote back! I’ve also just completed The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley and am a bit weirdly obsessed with it. I’ve been forcing it on people desperately so I can have someone to talk about it with. Beautifully visual (with the help of a synesthetic main character) and very intelligently written, there’s also a great little twist that caused a good bit of controversy on the Good Read’s discussion board (and was therefore obviously something I was All About).


Please read this book. Please. I mean, just…please

Both were ridiculously enjoyable and I thoroughly recommend them both if you’re between books at the moment. I’ve just taken a slight detour to some Arsene Lupin short stories, who’s always been a firm favourite (Imagine if Sherlock Holmes was a French gentleman thief and your kind of not really there), but I’ve been promising the Man Muffin I’ll read The Master and Margarita for the longest time, so I’m going to pick up that this week if only to appease him. If I can get that finished before next week, I’m back to my book a week quota and that is always grounds for a celebratory trip to Waterstones.

Otherwise things are continuing pretty much as they always do. I’m hoping this week will bring various exciting events and inspirational situations for next week’s post. If not, mainly I’m going to be hoping Molly pulls her finger out…




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